The Joy Battle

I spent most of yesterday complaining.  In my heart, to Chris, and anyone else who would listen.  Ringing in my ears and rolling off of my tongue ever-so-easily…

No more church responsibilities.  Why do I have to do all this work by myself?   Where are my reinforcements, my committee?  Who else cares about early childhood ministry besides me?  Do I even really care today?  Questionable.

No more cooking for my family.  No short orders and no erratic time schedule.  No more dishes and no more cleaning.   Get your own frozen pizza.  Wipe up your own pee-stained toilet, boys.

Why do we have boys?  Towel bars are monkey bars.  Fireplaces are end zones.  Candy canes are weapons.  Why is it that I only realize my {faint} wish for a girl when I take time to paint my nails?   Who’s up for an afternoon of coloring and bead stringing?  Yes, please.

Our house is freeeeeeeeezing.  The put-on-extra-clothes-to-go-down-to-the-laundry-room type of freezing.  Seriously, it’s only December.  We’ve got a loooooooong way to go with poorly sealed windows.  Hibernation sounded amazing yesterday.

Not to mention the what feels like a bazillion teacher and birthday gifts, pot luck dishes, and winter party snacks I need to drum up.  And then, well, I get mad at myself for thinking “sure, I’ll bake cinnamon rolls for Zeke’s teachers” and “of course, Max’s friend can come over to play after school tomorrow” and “yep, carpooling sounds fantastic”.

Breathe.  It’s a joy battle.  

Then I hopped in the shower, warmed up.   Got out nail polish and turned on Holiday Inn.   And in the crevices of my complaints, joy started to seep in.  A miracle, yes.

God gave me boys, and I love being a boy mom.  Bike rides, basketball.  Shouts of praise at the smell of bacon.  Juicy hugs and wrestling matches.  Fart talk and a very simple, dirty wardrobe.

I love cooking for my family.  I love that they run when I yell “dinner time” and slide sweaty into their chairs ready to wolf it down.  Cole loves cocoa fudge cookies and Max loves maraschino cherries and Zeke loves just about anything.  Only I know those things.  My own special secrets.

I am grateful for my job at ECC.  It helps our budget.  I get to work with fabulous people who care deeply about loving others because God loved us first.  And I plan fun ways for kids involving cranberries and dressing up.  Paint and glitter.  Learning truths from Scripture.

Our boys have wonderful teachers who work hard every day.  I want to bless them, however small it may be.  They are worth cinnamon rolls.   And every member of our little family has growing friendships.  School friends, church friends, neighbors.  We want to take opportunities to love {because really, we need to get outside of ourselves}.

And our house.  We love it.  It’s drafty.  It’s cozy.  The wall paint is marked up and the doors dinged.  Evidence of life happening.

It’s amazing how a joy choice changes everything.  Giving thanks turned it all around for me.  I am rich.  And I can choose joy today.








One thought on “The Joy Battle

  1. You are such an inspiration! As Bubba and I have said for years..You are an AMAZING woman! I thank God you are in my life…You are loved!

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